Jonathan Swift died in vain   Leave a comment

But at least the pigs didn’t.

On Wednesday (the 30th) Jeremy Clarkson made a clever joke about balance on the BBC, and thousands of people complained because they’re idiots who only watched fifteen seconds of it on YouTube. This was hilarious, but you probably know all about it by now.

Aliens may not know about BBC Balance, which is achieved by getting two diametrically-opposed nutjobs to shout at each other about a topic for a few minutes. For an example, tune in to the Jeremy Vine programme, any weekday at noon on BBC Radio 2. You can then hear listeners’ opinions on the matter, which will persuade you that the British public should be rounded up and executed for the good of the universe; if you think I’m a hateful sociopath without a shred of empathy or consideration for other people, then… Well, you’ll see. Oddly, Jeremy Vine himself seems like rather a pleasant and intelligent chap. I expect he knows how Cnut felt on the beach. Still, I don’t listen to the programme; far too aggravating and upsetting.

Right, my day! I played Skyrim. I found the Thieves’ Guild. I won’t “spoil” how to, as it’s not really signposted, but as the first thing I heard when I got to the town was a guard complaining about them being thugs, and everyone there will tell you how to find them, it’s not exactly a secret.

Apparently there have been mutterings that the Thieves’ missions are too unpleasant. How dare a criminal organisation whose stated purpose is to rob from anyone and everyone, and give to themselves, be portrayed as nasty? Tsk. Maybe if you want to be a goodie-two-shoes you shouldn’t join the Thieves’ Guild.

I did join, though, and they certainly are nasty; the very first mission after you’re induced is to extort protection money from business-owners, and you do this by destroying their prized posessions and threatening their families. So that’s lovely. Obviously I did it, though, and yes, it’s “just a game”, but I reckon many of humanities’ atrocities have been carried out not by cartoon “EVIL” villains, but by normal, every-day people who go to the shops and the pub, look after their families, and are just doing their job. As the saying goes, all it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to please torture the guy in cell 5 after you’ve put the kettle on, ta.

(The next mission, that I’ve not yet done, is your standard breaking and entering, burglary and vandalism. So not nearly as bad.)

I also made a nice sausage casserole for my dinners on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Lidl had some of their 540g packs of big German sausages reduced. It’s good when that happens.

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Posted 9 December 2011 by Colthor in Diary

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