Don’t call us   Leave a comment

We won’t call you.

If Monday was humanity annoying me by knocking on my door, Tuesday was humanity annoying me by ringing my ‘phone.

The first was a woman from one of those annoying we’re-conducting-a-survey-bollocks-are-you-you’re-hawking-shit insulation companies. I asked her for the name (twice; the washing machine was on. I still forgot it) and she asked if I was on the TPS. Shouldn’t she know that already, and not call me? She said she’d remove me from the database.

The second time, I picked up the ‘phone, and heard it ring at the other end. Not a good sign. After a few seconds’ silence, I heard “Uh… Hello?”
“You called me.”
Apparently he was looking for a Mr. Mitchell or something. I audibly sighed, and asked him to take my number off the database.

Fortunately I don’t get nearly as worked up by cold-callers over the ‘phone as door-to-door, but I’ve still wanted an auto-answering sytem that explains that if they’re anybody I don’t know and haven’t asked for, get lost; if they’re calling for anybody other than me, I can’t help, goodbye; and finally, type in these three random digits and it’ll ring the actual ‘phone to see if I’m in and paying attention.

It would probably be fairly expensive, though, as it’d need some specialist hardware. It’s probably easier just to unplug my ‘phone, considering only two people ever call the landline. That way no particularly obnoxious specimens could ignore the message.

A few months ago, wasn’t I thinking that I should go out and interact with people more? I can’t for the life of me remember why. It seems a stupid thing to want to do; what good could possibly come of it? Much better to stay indoors, where there are interesting things to do, and no other humans.


Posted 11 October 2011 by Colthor in Diary

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