Systematic hypersensitisation   Leave a comment

If you think this is bad, you should see the bits I don’t write.

Monday started slowly. It was a Monday, after all. Gradually, and with the help of the rest of the disappointing shortbread, I made it to lunchtime.

I made my sandwich, sat down, and no sooner had I taken my first bite when there was a knock on the door. I go downstairs and open it.

“Hi, how are you? We’ve had a lot of interest in the local – ”
I’ve not managed to swallow my sandwich yet, so I gesture towards my “no cold callers” sign.
“I’m not a cold caller, cold callers try to sell you – ”
Finally, my mouth is clear. “I don’t know you, therefore you’re a cold caller”.
“I’m not – ”
I start to close the door.
” – have you considered having any work done, we’ve had a lot of interest – ”
The door closes. I lock it, and return to my sandwich.

Firstly, what else did he possibly expect? There is a sign on the door that quite clearly says I don’t want anything to do with him, so what did he possibly think he had to gain?
Secondly, if he’s not selling anything, why the fuck is he knocking on my door asking me if I’m interested in something? The obnoxious, lying little cunt.

I don’t like it when people I don’t know and haven’t asked for accost me like that. It’s scary and intimidating, and always leaves me annoyed and angry for days afterwards. Why can’t the hateful creatures just leave me alone?

This left me with fantasies of truly horrible violence to be carried out on the next person to ignore my polite, helpful sign. People say that violence doesn’t solve problems*, which shows they’ve not thought about it much; if you don’t want people to do something, the only thing that will prevent them is fear (or death). Violence is a pretty good way of imposing fear (and death), that being the point of police and militaries.

Alas, in the meantime I’ve thought of a way to exact my revenge (and maybe even discourage further infractions) that is both much funnier and significantly less likely to wind up with my arrest.

Still, only one annoyance in the two months I’ve had the sign.

 
* Probably the same people who don’t think “might makes right”. Of course it does; right and wrong are opinions, nothing more, and the person with the biggest stick can impose their opinions on others. It doesn’t matter if you like it or not; you’ve not got the biggest stick.

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