Pricking of my thumbs   Leave a comment

Which explains the stains on the doormat.

On Tuesday I was back in the swing of things after a good night’s sleep, and once more firing on both cylinders.

As I was making my lunch, I dropped something on my plate. “That made a funny noise”, I thought, before realising that the uncommonly loud thump was somebody banging on the door.
Quite often I’d be tempted to just ignore them, but I didn’t think I could get away with it this time. We could, after all, see each other.
So I went out of the side door, which seems to confuse people (I rarely have a front-door key handy), and queried: “Can I help you?”
“Sorry to bother you”, but not that sorry or he wouldn’t have knocked on it explicitly to bother me – unless he has an exceptionally poor grasp of cause and effect, or maybe just enjoys making himself feel guilty, “I saw you in the kitchen… Are you the home-owner?”

I have a default answer to questions of this sort, when asked by strangers knocking on my door. It’s an answer which rarely seems to make them happy, and which often causes them to react as if I were being rude or hostile.

“None of your business”, I replied. I see no reason why one should give personal information out on demand, and there are plenty of reasons why one shouldn’t.

The salesman visibly deflated, apparently considering that I, and not the person disturbing others and making unsolicited demands, was the unreasonable party. He continued regardless, showing me some paper with an orange logo, and asking if I’d considered having my windows done. I glared at him for a second, looked at the kitchen window, said “They’re quite new” and returned inside. You should not, therefore, buy windows from any company with an orange logo.

After locking the door behind me I got my breath back and continued preparing my lunch. These encounters leave my heart pounding and my legs wobbly from the adrenaline, which is not at all enjoyable. Accosting people who think they’re in the safety of their own home is terribly threatening behaviour.

Which provided the impetus to poke around on ebay and find somebody selling No Cold Callers signs. More than worth £3.55, I think. Hopefully that, once it’s stuck up, will be the end of that.

An actual, genuine, door-to-door double-glazing salesman, though! Cor. I thought they were a myth.

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